A Hot Bath for a Weary Soul.

A hot bath for a weary soul.

Unexpectedly it drowns what dismays.

The fervid swoon of the lapping waves, release the frigid torments of this day.

As steam wafts off the sultry surface, chills scurry down the spine.

A candle flickers, the roar of the faucet like a thundering waterfall.

Instantly what was burrowed so deep, begins to rise.

As scents of eucalyptus dance through the air, stress releases down the face.

A hot bath for a weary soul.

Submerging beneath the sea of warmth, eyes closed tight, noise commanded to a muffle.

The world seems a bit less complex. if but for a moment.

Muscles relax, breath slows, worries cease. As the magic of this place envelops every sense.

No problems to be solved, nothing broke needing fixing.

Just a girl in a tub.

A hot bath for a weary soul.

Unexpected.

Pain from bad choices is expected. Hurt, heartache, sadness, all deemed common side effects. We are warned of it’s likelihood. We are cautioned and told to take heed. Consequences…Be forewarned…like a label on a pill bottle.

Unexpected though, is the heartache and pain that can emerge from good decisions. Healthy, life giving decision, that come wrapped in nothing but. Not many warnings of this possibility. No one forewarns or shares a heads up. So when it occurs, preparedness is not choreographed.

Decisions like severing ties of a venomous friendship.

Being the whistleblower that is the savior of others.

Uprooting the life that is known to protect those closest to you.

Breaking off a relationship strangling the soul.

Removing a hand of protection from those refusing to accept the help.

All the right decisions made. Wisdom used. Nights of lost sleep. Prayers, tears, fasting. The right choice, absolutely. Yet regardless, no win. No joy. No happiness. No applause. No appreciation. No change. Just pain. Just pain so intense, it feels as though your heart is being ripped out of your chest.

Despite it, a decision you must stand in. Even when others don’t understand. Even as they question your motives, endlessly. You must stand. Stand in your decision and therefore, in your pain. Heart searing pain.

This is pain I have wrestled with for years. Pain that has built a kinship. This is the pain I am watching my daughter wrestle with now. Hard decision, good decision, massive heartache.

Days. nights. Weeks. Months of wrestling. Asking God. Angry at God. Negotiating with God. Complete lack of understanding.

It is in this pain the Father speaks.

“God, your God, will restore everything you lost; he’ll have compassion on you; he’ll come back and pick up the pieces from all the places where your were scattered. “

It is in this promise, I stand.

Beside the pain.

The Simple Life.

I love this simple life.

Early morning coffee.

Hearty, soul comforting breakfast. Warm biscuits, sizzling bacon, crispy potatoes.

Slow starts, doing what I fancy.

Card games with my babies.

A cool drink with my beau.

Perhaps, a swim in the lake or bathing in the suns golden rays.

Food, laughter, music. Beats that pep the heart.

The warm glow of a fire. Crackle and pop of possibility.

Burnt marshmallow, ooey chocolate, sheer delight.

Shared secrets, hopes, aspirations whispered in the dark.

What a wonderful world.

What a wonderful simple life.

Obsessively Grateful.

A grateful heart is a content heart. No….gratefulness doesn’t always come easy and no….it isn’t always the first (or second) reaction, but it is the most rewarding.

I choose to be grateful today. I choose to be obsessively grateful.

The more I live, the more I realize it is definitely a choice. Rather than griping about the heat, I choose to be grateful I can sit outside, sip my coffee, watch my dog sunbathe, and watch the sun come up. Rather than focusing on what I don’t have, I choose to see all the abundant much that I do have. Rather then complain about what on my body hurts, I will say thank you that I can walk and jump and run, even if it does hurt afterward.

It’s the little things in life that make up the big moments.

When my heart is mindful of gratefulness, it often feels like it will burst. Like a snug warm hug, embracing my soul. This is the reward for choosing to be grateful. While complaining feeds the soul momentarily, it often leaves a bitter after bite. Gratefulness is long lasting and sweet tasting.

So today I will be grateful. For all that I have, for every person in my life, for my current situations. I will choose to see the blessing in each moment and express those blessings in my words and my actions.

I will be obsessively grateful.

Easy Summer Dog Treats…

I am constantly looking for ways to keep my English bulldog cool on these crazy hot Louisiana days! Recently, I found these awesome silicone muffin pans at Dollar General for $4.50! Everywhere else I looked they were $10-$20 which is nuts.

Just fill them with water, put them in the freezer and pop one out with frozen. My Betty Lou loves getting one when she’s hot and sweaty. The best part is, it’s just water, no sugar like a popsicle, she she’s getting hydrated and cooled down!

Here’s a link for the item on DG! https://www.dollargeneral.com/baked-with-love-silicone-baking-pan-silicone.html

Hope you guys love it!

The box.

Death came knocking a little too close.

What is it about death, that the mere mention of its name causes a deep consideration? It makes one stop just a moment longer. Requires reflection of ourselves and those around us. Our relationships are perused. Attention is paid.

It did just that for me, when I heard it. Its haunted knock. Seems feeble, but anything but. The thud of its finality, just a little too close. It is so very final.

When we die, we are placed in a box.

Funny, I am beginning to see the truth is this; we are in a box long before we die.

I remember as a child playing with cardboard boxes. These boxes could be anything and everything. With some tape and a knife, the boundaries were limitless. A spaceships for the worlds youngest astronaut. Top secret forts for the sneakiest spy. Breathtaking castle for the belle of the kingdom. The imagination was the only ceiling. But then it stops. It just stops. One day the imagination stops, we go into the box, that once had so many endless possibilities and we never come back out.

Oh sure, we like to vociferate that others put us in our boxes, circumstances keep us caged, limits keep us limited, but really, it is our own doing. We are the ones that allow the windows to be barred, the deadbolts to be installed. We allow it. They say what not to do, where not to go, what not to wear, how not to think and we listen. Tell us where to go, how to learn, what should make us happy and we let them. We accept it. We willingly embrace what they hand us and we affix them to our box or to the reasons why we must remain.

And we remain. We sit inside, discontented, miserable and depressed. We stop creating, imaging and living and we go in, shut the door and never come out. We scroll through pictures of others in their boxes, watch them as they pretend not to be in one. Maybe we lean out of the windows, wish, day dream, fantasize, hope, but that is all. We do not dare open the door, we do not dare wander out.

Perhaps, there are moments when we get close. Dare to break free. Events, such as death or a pandemic, cause a spark. Passion is resuscitated in our soul, but it soon fans out. It fans out, we blow it out, or watch as we allow others to snuff it out.

We have questions, so many questions.

We have doubts, fears, insecurities. A circular heyday of uncertainty runs rampant, destroying. So we cry, eat, shop, drink, spend, gossip, sleep, don’t sleep, anything to pacify the insistent, intense hole.

Refusing to exit.

Get me out of this box. Let me not wake up and it be too late to run away.

Slow

I love slow Saturday mornings. Really, any slow morning will do just fine. Mornings not burdened with alarms or schedules. Mornings not planned for me or requiring of me. Mornings that can drift slowly by while sipping coffee, practicing lazy.

The practice of lazy, is just that. For a recovering “busy bee” it is all about the practice. There was a time when slow was anything but enjoyable. A time when I had to go, had to do, had to be. A time when sitting still seemed torturous. Every moment had to be filled, every ounce had to be planned. And if I wasn’t going, wasn’t doing, I was terribly vexed and unsettled.

I am thankful for my husband in this regard. It is he who taught me to enjoy the quiet. He showed me how to slow down, how to enjoy being still, being content in nothing. Often he asks me why I love him, this is one reason. If not for him, I know I’d be shackled to busy, unsettled and discontent. So thank you my love. Thank you for saving me from busy and showing me slowness.

The Hump.

A hump.

It’s a funny thing.

Funny it doesn’t seem like one when you’re going through it.

Monumental in the present, minuscule in the past.

Teaching tool, patience maker, tear jerker, pain maker. Metaphorical thorn.

Any “thing” can classify as a hump. What is for one, maybe not for another. My hump, not your hump.

Purpose derives from the midst of the hump. Success born in the struggle. From the challenges, the misunderstandings, the darkness. Each have reason, each complete a task.

The danger comes from getting stuck in the hump.

All the sticking points. Sticking too tight. Incapable of breaking the tethers.

What had purpose now has detriment.

Scream, kick, claw, bite, fight. Push past the hump. Once the purpose served, do not linger.

Let the hump be a highway, not a habitat. A track, not a tether. A lesson, not a limit.

Faithful.

Faithful. Steadfast to affection or allegiance. Firm in adherence to promises. True to the facts and to a standard.

Countless verses in the Bible speak about faithfulness. Some though, speak directly to the source of faithfulness. The fulfillment of the word faithful. These scriptures direct our focus directly to the faithfulness of God. It is this faithfulness that grabbed my attention this morning. “But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.”

Our world is anything and everything but faithful. I suppose it always has been, but lately it seems treacherous. Not much is steady. Consistency is hard to find. It leads the soul to unrest. Poses questions and doubts. Sparks fear.

Yet this scripture. These words. In an instant, grant the ability to find rest. They recall, recount and rehash the truth that is His faithfulness. They release the noose of fear and capture truth, that He, is in control.

Immediately, I am thankful for what is so easily forgotten. Faithfulness. Steadfast to a promise. Not changing, not unsteady. Consistent. As the things around me rattle and shake. As unsteadiness creeps in. A promise made so long ago, is so prevalent to today. A promise He knew I would need this day, the same promise another may need tomorrow.

Thank you Father for being faithful when I am not. When we are not.

Thank you for speaking a promise so long ago, knowing I would need it today.

Broke without breaking.

I hear the news reports, ringing in my ears.

I see the devastation happening, blazing in my eyes.

I feel the unfathomable impact, weighted in my soul.

For days it has rendered me speechless. Unable to form a sound opinion, unable to gain reason. Grieving.

Grief, unbearable grief.

The lyrics of a song roll round and round in my mind.

Broke without breaking.

We are broken. So broken.

Our country. Our communities. Our lives.

The brokenness creeps closer and closer.

Not physically broken by an outside force, an internal breaking at our own accord.

From the inside out.

Broken without breaking.

The worst kind of broken.

Oblivious brokenness.

Like a vase, still intact, on closer inspection reveals utter decimation.

Cracked in all directions.

Shattered on every surface.

Rived deeply within our core.

In the midst of my grief, I can only whisper, Father we need you.