Pain from bad choices is expected. Hurt, heartache, sadness, all deemed common side effects. We are warned of it’s likelihood. We are cautioned and told to take heed. Consequences…Be forewarned…like a label on a pill bottle.

Unexpected though, is the heartache and pain that can emerge from good decisions. Healthy, life giving decision, that come wrapped in nothing but. Not many warnings of this possibility. No one forewarns or shares a heads up. So when it occurs, preparedness is not choreographed.

Decisions like severing ties of a venomous friendship.

Being the whistleblower that is the savior of others.

Uprooting the life that is known to protect those closest to you.

Breaking off a relationship strangling the soul.

Removing a hand of protection from those refusing to accept the help.

All the right decisions made. Wisdom used. Nights of lost sleep. Prayers, tears, fasting. The right choice, absolutely. Yet regardless, no win. No joy. No happiness. No applause. No appreciation. No change. Just pain. Just pain so intense, it feels as though your heart is being ripped out of your chest.

Despite it, a decision you must stand in. Even when others don’t understand. Even as they question your motives, endlessly. You must stand. Stand in your decision and therefore, in your pain. Heart searing pain.

This is pain I have wrestled with for years. Pain that has built a kinship. This is the pain I am watching my daughter wrestle with now. Hard decision, good decision, massive heartache.

Days. nights. Weeks. Months of wrestling. Asking God. Angry at God. Negotiating with God. Complete lack of understanding.

It is in this pain the Father speaks.

“God, your God, will restore everything you lost; he’ll have compassion on you; he’ll come back and pick up the pieces from all the places where your were scattered. “

It is in this promise, I stand.

Beside the pain.

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Mage means magician, what a great way to describe the job of a momma! I’m just one momma making magic, juggling the business of life, trying to embolden other mommas along the way.

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